Letter #8 – It’s Me or the Snore

Hi Nate:

I had such a wonderful nap this afternoon.  I slept so soundly, and had the most lovely dream about a creek that made a low rumbling noise.  It was such a soothing dream, and then oddly, it transformed into a musical about a creek.  Who knew there even could be a musical about a creek, but there it was.

So, Dad is not happy that I’ve been spending so much time with Theodore the Snore.  We had a conversation about it today.

“How can you spend so much time with that… that thing!  It’s absolutely hideous.”  Dad said.

“Well, I think he’s kind of cute. And we’re having so much fun!  We go shopping and to spas, and I can eat anything I want when I’m with Theodore and I don’t gain weight.”


“Yes.  Don’t you think you could find a way to like Theodore?  He’s so cute and cuddly and think of all the ice cream and cherry pie you could eat when you’re with him.”

Your Dad considered it, he really did.  But then he shook his head. “Look, I understand that, but`enough is enough.”  Dad sighed, and added, “You need to break up with the Snore.”

“Break up?  When did we start going steady?”

“You need to tell the Snore that it needs to move on and find another playmate.  It’s me or the Snore.”

What could I do?  I mean, no matter how great Theodore was, he couldn’t hold a candle to your Dad.  So I nodded, and told your Dad that I would take care of it.

I went to the family room figuring Theodore was probably hanging out on the couch watching Family Guy, but he wasn’t there.  I went outside to see if Theodore was shooting hoops or tossing the football in the air, but he wasn’t there either.

“Theodore?” I called.  But there was no answer.

Where could Theodore be?

I’m sorry Nate, but I need to go and find him.  I’ll talk to you more tomorrow.

Love and kisses,


P.S.  This is Dad.  Victory!!  The Snore is on it’s way out!!