Letter #5 -The Snore on the Couch

Hi Nate:

I hope you are well and enjoying camp.  I can’t believe it’s already been almost a week!

But I’m sure you want to hear whether or not that Snore could talk.

So I walked down the stairs and walked right up to that Snore.  He was sitting on the couch in the spot that you often occupy.  And I have to say, I don’t know why your Dad thinks the snore is hideous.  I think he wasn’t hideous at all.  In fact, he was kind of cute.

But I digress.

So anyway, I walked right up to that Snore.  The Snore was, well, he was snoring of course.  But I have to say, the snoring had mellowed considerably since leaving your Dad.  Rather than sounding like an airplane landing in my bed, it sounded more like a purr on steroids — a little loud, but almost soothing.

But I digress.

So, I walked right up to that Snore.  And I was about to say something when I noticed he was watching Family Guy!  Dear Lord, and here I thought that with you gone for the summer that I wouldn’t have deal with that show anymore!  That show is so sophomoric and I have no idea what . . .

But I digress.

So I walked right up to that Snore, and I said, “Excuse me, but could you please explain what you are doing here on my couch, watching my TV, and not occupying my husband’s throat, vocal cords and nasal passages?”

The Snore looked up at me, and let out a melodious rumble.  Then it said(I knew it!  I knew the Snore could talk!!) “It was time for a change of scenery.”

“A change of scenery?”

“Yes.” It replied. “Every single night it was the same boring dreams.  I just couldn’t take it any longer.”

“Boring dreams? Like what?” I asked.

“It’s always Super Heroes.  Every single night, it’s Super Heroes! Unless he’s anxious about something and then he either has the dream about missing the final exam, or giving a speech naked.  But everyone has those dreams. And they’re not even in color!  How’s a Snore to stay entertained when that’s all there is to view every night.”

“Super Heroes every night?  Wow, that is kind of boring.”

“What’s wrong with Super Heroes?”  Your Dad asked.

What is wrong with Super Heroes?  Find out tomorrow.

Love and Kisses,

Mom

P.S. Nate, this is Dad.  I don’t know what your Mom is talking about.  The Snore is hideous, and my dreams are not boring!!